During the period between the festivals of Pesach and Shavuos, we strive to improve our interpersonal relationships and in particular the commandment to “love your fellow as yourself”.
“Love your re-acha (fellow) as yourself”. “Re-acha” literally means your loved one [1]. But if he is already your loved one, why is there a commandment to love him?
Furthermore, surely non-coincidentally, we find a similar question with regards to the connected commandment “to give rebuke to amecha (your nation)”. “Amecha” refers to your nation who already fulfils Torah and the commandments [2]. If so, why is it necessary to rebuke them?
In 1976, Nathan Yellim-Mor, an irreligious, or more accurately anti-religious journalist, was visiting the US and it was suggested that he visit the Lubavicher Rebbe. The Rebbe greeted him warmly and commented “I read your column every week” and blessed him that he utilise his talents to the fullest.
Yellin-Mor was taken aback. He had little dealings with Rabbis, and hardly expected any to be reading is column. Not only that, but the Rebbe complimented him on his writing which contained anti-religious views!
“Does the Rebbe agree with what I write?” he asked incredulously.
“Not everything one reads he must agree with,” the Rebbe responded, “Hopefully as you continue writing, you will come closer to the truth and become a better writer”.
Yellin-Mor was clearly touched.
But the Rebbe was not finished. “Tell me,” he asked the journalist, “how are things by you with Torah and the commandments?”
Yellin did not want to lie, but neither did he want to admit the truth that he hardly observed any religious rituals. “A yid tracht – a Jew thinks” he responded.
“Judaism is not about thinking,” the Rebbe persisted, “it is about doing”.
“Well then,” Yellin-Mor responded, “at least I am in the category of the man in the story they tell about Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev who once saw a Jew smoking on Shabbos: After repeatedly trying to judge the man favourably, the man admitted openly in no uncertain terms that he was well aware of his actions and their ramifications. The Rabbi with great emotion turned his eyes upwards in prayer. He praised the honesty of the nation of Israel and how even a sinner will simply not tell a lie.”
The Rebbe smiled, and then without missing a beat, responded, “The difference is that Rabbi Levi Yitzchak was seeking merit for another person. But you are seeking merit for yourself!”
Yellim-Mor did start to see the truth a little after that encounter and indeed used his writing skills somewhat to convey it.
Of course we must attempt to rebuke others in order to help them fully return to our nation. This we achieve, at least initially, by judging them favourably: in most cases even a transgressor is still part of our nation. But if so, how can we explain the continuation of the verse “and do not bear a sin because of him”? What is the (potential) sin? The sin is to apply the same rules to ourselves and judge ourselves favourably!
So too when it comes to the commandment to “love your loved one as yourself”. Perhaps it is referring to a person who is not yet “your loved one” but could be through a little effort on our behalf; perhaps it is referring to somebody who we could help to make them a better person – “as yourself”? [3]
The first stage to change your “fellow” into your “loved on” is to judge him favourably. After all: “as yourself” – would we not also appreciate being judged favourably at least sometimes?
Have a favourable Shabbos,
Dan.
Additional sources:
[1] E.g. Rashi, Shmuel A 30:26 [2] Bava Metzia 59a [3] See also Rashbam, Vayikra 19:18
