Under certain circumstances, a father has the ability to annul his daughter’s vows. This is described as that her father “heini” her [1]. The word “heini” is explained to mean withhold and also to give benefit [2], but these two ideas contradict one another! What then is the simple understanding of the word “heini”? [3]
When 40 employees from the Cantor Fitzgerald Company were fired, they sought out the advice of a Rabbi to verify what action they could take, but he told them that G-d has His reasons and there was no need to worry.
No doubt they were disheartened to say the least and at a loss to understand these ‘reasons’. Until the following Tuesday that is, better known as 9/11, when 600 of their fellow employees perished in the infamous twin towers terror attack!
Our resolutions are often based on our own initial response to a situation and how we therefore perceive it should be dealt with – but without first seeking the proper advice.
Following these resolutions instead of seeking proper advice can cause a waste of time at best, and at worse a whole lot more. But on the other hand a resolution is a resolution: our words are holy and should not be “profaned” [4]. It would therefore be a great benefit to us if the resolution was somehow annulled. Therefore the proper annulling of a vow is indeed withholding (a person’s resolution) but at the same time provides a great benefit for them!
Have a resolutely beneficial Shabbos,
Dan.
Additional sources:
[1] Bamidbar 30:6
[2] Rashi, Bamidbar 30:6
[3] See also Mizrachi and other commentaries to [2]
[4] Bamidbar 30:3 and Rashi
