Did you ever contemplate the procedures required to foster a child?  Despite their well meaning intentions, altruistic families undergo many bureaucratic stages before being allocated a child in need.  Files upon files are opened regarding their past and present as well as considerations for their future.  A great deal of information is researched before a social worker may finally give their sanction.  At long last these parents have’ qualified’ and the child will now live in their home.

Now did you ever stop and think that HaKadosh Baruch Hu has also looked into all the files of every father and every mother. HaShem knows our past, from the day we were born, our present situation in every area and all that will happen to us in the future.  He knows our strengths and weaknesses, our likes and dislikes.  And with all that knowledge has decided that of every father and mother ever created, you and I are the best people to raise the children that we have. Who needs a Parenting Degree?! 

Sometimes the Yetzer Hara tells us “if only my child grew up in so-and-so’s home, he or she would turn out such a mentsch’.  WRONG!  There are no ‘errors’ when HaKadosh Baruch Hu selects a place for His Neshamos.  We must believe in ourselves as parents and know that we have all the attributes our child needs to fulfill his or her potential. 

One of the reasons that children lack respect for parents today is when they sense our self-doubt.  We must have confidence in what we do.  After all, a mother is given Binah Yesayrah – a G-d given ‘sixth sense’ to perceive the emotional climate in her home and even beyond.  Moreover, HaShem has willfully placed us in a family framework together making us into the most ‘lechatchila’ parents for them.  How’s that for a haskama?!

Not only should we internalize the Hashgacha Pratis of any children growing up in our home but we should spill over this attitude to them.  They should acknowledge HaShem’s profound influence over our lives and know that we are happy about His decisions because they are ultimately for the best.  Some children are told explicitly or subtly that they are a ‘mistake’, a ‘bdi’eved’.  We want to convey to our children that they are unquestionably ‘lechatchila’ to us.

It is easy to take our children for granted sometimes.  It is also reasonable to despair during the hard patches.  It is natural to wish we could alter certain variables in the family dynamics.  At times like these, we should remember that when a worker comes on time every morning and carries out his tasks with love and devotion, knowing that his Boss thinks he is the most qualified for the job, he will receive the highest promotion and always remain in the ‘company’ of HaShem.

 

 

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