"...And he [Yaakov] loved Rochel more that Leah...and Hashem saw that Leah was hated..." (29:30-31)

From the fact that Yaakov loved Rochel, does that mean that his other wife Leah should be hated? And is this the attitude of Yaakov Avinu - to hate his wife?

Rav Pam, speaking particularly to parents and teachers, suggests that the lesson we should take from this is that when we show extra love towards one person, even one of our own children, the others will feel hated even if it is not the case.

Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlit"a however takes a more severe approach from this verse. He explains that there is no such thing as 'a middle road' when it comes to love, any lacking in the Mitzvah of "loving a fellow Jew" is the equivalent of hating him; even if he loves him 70%, the remaining 30% is within the boundary of hatred.
This verse is therefore telling us that Yaakov did love Leah very much, but perhaps it was only 99.99%, therefore Leah was in fact hated,
This, explains R'Chaim is the depth and the severity of the Mitzvah of Loving our fellow Jew (Veahavta Lerecha Kamocha) and how hard we need to work on it!

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