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Frum Jokes

G-d's getting better at it, right?!

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally, she spoke up,…

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G-d's getting better at it, right

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally, she spoke up,…

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G-d says to Noach

G-d says to Noach "Build me an ark...but not just any ark, one with many floors." Noach doesn't really understand, but G-d continues "And it has to be filled with fish...and not just any fish - carp!" "oh" Noach chaps - "You want me to build a multi-storey carp-ark"!!

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G'd is watching...

2 little boys were standing in the lunch queue in Cheder and nearby was a table full of apples. On the table was a notice, "Take one apple, god is watching". Needless to say, they only took one apple. The next table had sweets on it. One of the boys said to the other, "We can take as many sweets as we want, god is watching the apples!"

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Expensive trip to the drycleaners

When I went to the drycleaners the other day I couldn't believe it...£35 for to do a pair a Tzitzis. So I went to the manager and asked why it cost so much. "Well it took us 2 hours to get all the knots out!"

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Convert for Cash

Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day, when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, “Convert to Catholicism and get $10.“ One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to…

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