Frum Jokes

Two astronauts land on Mars...

Two astronauts land on Mars.
Their mission: to check whether there is oxygen on the planet.

"Give me the box of matches," says one. "Either it burns and there is oxygen, or nothing happens."

He takes the box, and is ready to strike a match when, out of the blue, a…

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Golfing on Shabbos!

Q: What is the halacha regarding someone who is playing golf on Shabbos (where there is an eruv) and whilst he is on the green hitting his ball towards the hole, he accidentally pulls up a blade of grass? 

A: Putter

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The ultimate hefsek?!?!!?

A frum Jew is captured by a vicious anti-Semite, who tells him to prepare to die. The Jew scrunches up his eyes, shokkels, and says this brocha: "Baruch ata... asher kideshanu bemitzvotav, vetzivanu al Kiddus Hashem" (Blessed are You, G-d.... Who has commanded us regarding the commandment of Sanctifying G-d's…

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A gut Kashe?!?!

A man wants to build a house, so he goes to the rabbi and asks him how. The rabbi says "Im glad you asked me that. There is actually a whole gemorah about it!" So they go through the gemorah, the man makes notes, and he then builds a house…

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Pesach Joke

A Jewish man is honoured with a knighthood from the Queen. Weeks before the big event he's fluently learnt the latin phrase that everyone needs to say. And so the big day arrives...and it comes to his turn...he kneels down by the Queen and attempts to say the latin phrase…

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